“Fall, leaves fall; die, flowers, away; lengthen night and shorten day;
Every leaf speaks bliss to me. Fluttering from the autumn tree” —Emily Bronte, Fall, Leaves, Fall
I took this tonight and had to save it with dozens of other sunsets I have taken. I never get tired of them.
How do you feel about the fall season? Some are invigorated and happy with the cooler weather. Others feel an uncomfortable nagging feeling of sadness. Is it that plants and grasses are dying and soon the landscape will be bare and brown? The cold is approaching and for me there is an expectation of warm blankets, cozy slippers and hibernating with good books. There is a wonderful warmth that greets you when you come in from picking up groceries, shoveling your car out of a drift or taking a walk in the white beauty of a new snowfall.
For some, fall signals the onset of Season Affective Disorder or SAD. My mother always said the fall made her sad and I didn’t quite understand until I got older. I get it now—in some ways we are more alone, more shut in as winter sets in. We really tasted the stark aloneness during the pandemic. I’m privileged to live where I can find others to talk to, play games with, if I choose. But it is good to know that if I need help, there are neighbors who would come if I called.
So as we lean into fall, I pray you find the peace in the beauty of the land, and are invigorated by coolness and the beginning of a new season. Don’t shut yourself in. Find things that are fun and that keep you engaging with other people.
“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.” – John Keating
It is time for some family members, friends, and I to choose our WORDS for 2023. We have done this for several years and it’s always interesting to hear what others decide upon for the next twelve months.
Last year my word was persevere, which means to persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement. I chose the word because I have many interests, but a hard time finishing some projects. I have two or three knitting projects that I have started and abandoned when other activities required my attention. Multitasking proudly most of my life, I have found that that is not my strong suit anymore.
Galatians 6:9 ESV And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. This verse was a motivator to me over a period of time.
Sometimes you have to stop and ask, “Why am I doing what I’m doing? Is it bringing joy to anyone or to me?” At this stage of life, I try to chose the activities that bring help and happiness to someone else as well as bringing me joy. Joy was my word a couple years ago. I feel I grew the year I chose that one. I gave up a couple things that had served their purpose, but were no longer accomplishing as much for others or bringing me satisfaction.
As far as perseverance, It helped me last year to stay on focus. In July, I had my first children’s book published after starting and laying the story aside for several years.
I can’t wait to hear your “WORD” and see what I can do with “presence”, my new word.I want to be more aware, more in tune with what is going on around me. Focus would have been another possibility for what I want to accomplish.
Seeking a slower, simpler life requires paying attention and being aware of surroundings so that my actions might have meaning.
My new cat, Beatrice, or Miss B. as I like to call her, is providing lots of playful fun for both of us. She finds great enjoyment in watching my wash spinning around in the washer or watching birds or fish on the TV or my computer. She is always “in the moment!”
The last few weeks have been challenging. I have struggled with my choices. I wanted to free up some time, but the activities that took up my time are all worthy pursuits. Once before I stopped my nursing license, then renewed it for the pandemic. I had a much easier decision when I gave up my anesthesia credentials as a CRNA. I knew that at my age, even 12 years ago, I had no business staying in the operating room as an anesthetist. Although COVID-19 is not over, it is much more manageable now. So I stepped back from a volunteer clinic and I am doing less vaccinations now…
What should I concentrate on now? No one knows their expiration date, but getting older has definitely brought it to my mind more often. I am soon to be a great-grandmother and I find that so exciting. I question if I’ve made any positive impressions on my family that will be remembered. I also want to be remembered as someone who enjoyed her life and had fun, faith, and valued family.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.–Anne Lamott, writer.
The words belong to a popular song written by Richard Adler and Jerry Ross for the 1955 musical Damn Yankees. I often felt my furry friend was aptly named. I moved to a new area a couple years after my husband died. New neighborhood–new pet seemed like a great idea.I had lost my lovable Chocolate Lab the year before.,My four granddaughters who lived closest to me helped me choose a pup. They and then I fell in love with Pug puppies we saw on the internet. We picked up a chubby ten-week-old Pug that became my constant companion. Lola was perfect for me. She was funny and loving and loyal. I got used to her being wherever I was in the house and later in an apartment. She comforted me with her snuggles when I left an unhappy situation and she kept me busy and occupied when I was lonesome during the early days of the COVID pandemic. Lately, typical of older pets, Lola spent more time sleeping, only occasionally moved to play with her toys. But she never lost her love of people. Extremely social, she would drag me toward people I didn’t know outside my building with her tail wagging, and seemingly saying “Hey, I’m here! I’d like to get to know you.” She could be annoying with her television habit. She would react and bark at any animals on the TV. Once she aged to around 11, Lola became deaf so trying to quiet her during her TV watching was difficult. I took her to the Emergency Vet Hospital on Sunday because she was having difficulty breathing and her abdomen seemed distended. She fell over in the dog yard and could walk only a few steps and would lay down, completely spent. She ate and drank normally even then. In the hospital, the ultrasound showed a tumor which seemed to be in her spleen. There was to be a further scan of some sort the next morning and possible surgery if the growth was confined to the spleen. At thirteen, she had been strong, but I knew I would have a difficult decision to make. At three a.m. she ate chicken and the staff said she seemed more comfortable, but at the next check–she was gone. Lola was a stubborn girl. I think she heard talk of surgery and thought, “Nope, not doin’that” She died on her own terms and took away my problem of deciding her fate. For that I have to be thankful.
I am so sad and nothing looks normal in my home. Without her toys, her dish, her bed. All who have ever lost a pet know what I’m talking about. I thank God for the 13 years and 3 months of her life which blessed me every day. Rest in peace dear Lola.
As I examined at knitted scarf I’ve been making this week, I tucked in a couple of stray pieces of yarn. I had run out of yarn in one skein and had begun to work from a new one at one place. I could see where I attached the new yarn and wove in the loose end–sort of. A small piece of yarn had still poked up and stood out. I found another error where I had added one stitch more than I should to a section.
Everyone is praying for 2021 to be a healthier, less divisive and more peaceful year. May it be so and may we greet others with an attitude of love and understanding.
On the surface the piece looks acceptable, but I know where the yarn was fraying a little bit and where I tore a row out to redo it.
I am much like a piece of my knitting–acceptable on the surface, but only God and I know where I was broken and knit back together through my life and what each “I’m sorry” cost me to face up to my mistakes and own them. I ask God to point out my mistakes also as we all can be blind to our faults and omissions.
Each event in our lives adds to the fabric of the outward appearance we present. What would people see if they saw the underside where the mistakes and the patches of hurt placed over them have left scars? They would see the smooth sections interspersed with the uglier knotted and tied-together repairs.
As we go forward from this unbelievable year; we grieve with the people who have lost jobs as well as loved ones and we’ve disagreed with others whose political and even medical views differ from ours. But it is important to remember that each person we meet has a few knots and patches, some repaired and some still dangling. Love and understanding go a long way toward revealing the outward person as the true self and not a disguise of what lies beneath.
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
Connie's Comments and Verse 