An underlayment is a layer between a subfloor and a finished floor that facilitates leveling and adhesion.
Where am I going with that? I was thinking about my personality and why I am the way I am. When I was little, the home was not a happy place, but we kept that to ourselves. “It was not other people’s business,” said my mom. She was a very quiet and stoic woman. For a long time, as I got older and saw more people react to things, I thought there might be something missing in me. I didn’t seem to react when scary or dangerous things happened, except to try and deal with the situation.
I wondered more than once where God was that he would let a little girl have scary experiences and not answer my prayers. It took me to adulthood to realize that God was with me or there would have been worse outcomes in my life. Once I accepted that and began to thank Him for the protection, I felt myself revealing more emotions as well.
With my own children, I tried to be more demonstrative and show my love. When I got married, my father hugged me but my mom never did. She was mad because I hadn’t finished my education and thought I never would. Thankfully, I did finish a couple of years later, but that didn’t turn her into a “huggy” person.
What has this got to do with floors or underlayment? I thought about how my faith developed and it seems like underneath is the strong support of faith in God. Over that is a cushioning layer of truth–what I know and have experienced and can sink into. Like a cushioning layer. On top of that today is my joy that lays smooth and adherent. I can be upset and even angry, but I am still secure that I’m not alone anymore. I hang onto my joy and allow no-one to take it away from me.
As bad as the country is with its divisions and hate groups and economic problems–I still feel a sense that all will be well–eventually. Yes, stand up and speak and do what you can to back your beliefs, but if you have faith, you then turn it over to God, the only being who knows the outcome.
How do you all hang on?